Your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor.
(YES)
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
(YES)
You know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happens
(YES)
You're father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
(YES)
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
(no...)
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
(INCENSE)
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
(HUH?)
You either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it
(Not particularly. It's a LIBERAL ARTS SCHOOL)
"You want a stereo! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!"
(Daddy. Mummy was rich and spoilt)
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
(He has high socks. Oh, the horror)
Your family owns a tennis racquet.
(YES.)
You buy corn oil by the gallon.
(Sorta)
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
(YES. WONDER WHY)
You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
(YEAH! IST. Indian Standard Time)
Everyone in your family has pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
(Kinda. Mine is something in Malayalam)
You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the Airport.
(Yuh HUH)
You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
(YES. How irriating is THAT?)
When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
(YES. It is rather scary)
Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
(It hurts the ears.)
There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
(Yes. OH YES)
You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
(Gramma does. My mother and father aren't exactly... domesticated)
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
(Sorta)
You hide everything from your parents.
(YES! THEY ARE SO NOSY)
Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
(no. My mother supports the logic that WOMEN ROCK. But she does molly coddle my cousin, who is an idiot)
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
(NO!)
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
(OH YES. Not just a small one)
Everyone is a family friend.
(YES. WTH is up with that?)
You know no one who has studied music.
(They are talented in it. However, the SCIENTIFIC PATH)
You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
(YES. PREFERABLY IN SPACE)
You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
(Probably will)
Your best friend got married at the age of 16.
(EW. Clara, don't, kay?)
You like the meat well done.
(YES. Ew.)
You eat onions with everything.
(NO! But my parents like blending them in.)
You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
(yays!)
You say you hate Indian films but secretly watch them with your parents.
(I watch only HIndi Indian films)
You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
(YES! SWEAR, CUSS!)
You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
(No. I am very fluent in Malayalam, thank you very much.)
You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
(Males suck.)
You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
(My English is perfect.)
You secure your baggage with a rope.
(Isn't that normal...?)
You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
(Yes. I can never escape them)
You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of...the royal family.
(yes. And I can't stand them)
You're parents would freak out if your sister wore a crop top baring her midriff...but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
(Like my sister would wear a sari.)
Your parents call all your friends "Beta" whether they are Indian or not
(Kinda.)
Your parent are panicking if you aren't married when you turn 25
(I'm 13. A LOOOONG way to go)
Either you really like Indians of the opposite sex or you can't stand them
(can't stand them. SO UGLY)
Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
(My mom is weird.)
A horoscope must decide your wedding date
(Yes. And my profession)
Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
(Coffee. Tea.)
You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot"
(The dot. Bindhu is not very piast. She does not go to temple, wear "the dot" and she eats meat.)
Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried
(no. they are stupid.((:)
You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried
(hell no.)
You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to...anyone YOU know.
(YES. So many, many)
Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
(They are doing that to my cousins' who are ready to be wed.)
You notice that whenever you go to another Indian's house, your parents always talk about work and business.
(YOU CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE.)
The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking...about them.
(Yes. bad, good.)
Every few months your parents say when they're moving back to India
(No. NOOOOO!)
No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
(They do. Sometimes)
You're proud to be Indian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Indian friends!
(Kinda. unless they are being stupid.)